I’ve been searching for my joy and I’ve found it…. In donuts. Just kidding, but I did find a little joy in one today.
In all seriousness, I was overwhelmed with a bit of mixed emotions yesterday. I, of course, was happy to see a little flicker of a heartbeat on the ultrasound, but I also found myself upset and feeling down for some reason. After coming to the realization that my sadness was mourning for the other little one that we lost, I found peace. Peace in knowing that our little one that didn’t make it was being held by the biggest, strongest, most powerful God and that was the best place for them. And that brings joy to my heart and peace to my soul.
Today, I woke up in a calm peace and felt I could now put all my energy into the littlest we do have. It doesn’t mean we have forgotten the other littles but we know they’re in a safe place. And He has given us this littles to take care of, love and raise like He wants, so that is what we will do and we will be joyful and grateful in every moment! So thank you Lord for giving us this opportunity (and thank you for donuts).