The nerves are real..

The big day is here and so much for relaxing and getting plenty of sleep prior to it.  I am not sure I got more than 2-3 hours of sleep, because my brain is swirling with so many thoughts, worries, excitement, and well, let’s just a little overwhelmed to say the least.  My arms are quivering, I am continually fighting back nervous tears, and a little sick to my stomach, and not that I want to admit it but definitely scared; but I am doing my best to trust in God.  We spent soms time asking for God’s peace and comfort.  I thought I was coming into this pretty level-headed but that all went to hell about 3 am this morning when all I could do was toss and turn. 

Did I relax enough? What if my uterine lining went down?  Why did I not get a call about the embryos after Saturday?  Are they growing? Are there still 13 little ones? Are they healthy? Will I get a call this morning canceling the transfer? Is the walk from the parking garage to the hotel room too long and does not count as “relaxing?” Did I eat enough pineapple (ha, those doing this and researched tips know exactly what I am talking about)? What if it doesn’t work? God, how do I be thankful for this all if it doesn’t work? 

So yes, the nerves are very real. I am not so level-headed anymore, but I am doing my best to stay focused on giving my worries to Him.  HE’S GOT THIS.  Get it together, and trust Him.

I guess now I’ll go shower and eat some more pineapple in prep for today.  Prayers are welcome. 😘


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