Losing Track

I’ve been quiet for a few days, just processing some things.  Processing test results, results that aren’t the best, but good enough to keep moving forward with IVF; processing my emotions, wow… this all is an emotional roller coaster; processing the anxiety and overwhelming feeling I have for upcoming changes.  Just a few things to take in, and all of it can cause you to lose track of….well, everything.

While receiving results that are basically subpar (my words, not the doctors words), I hit a wall of frustration, anxiety, fear all at one time.  Add what all this medication does to your hormones, and take those items times about 8.  So all the feelings on steroids.  Ha.  It’s not exactly controllable and sometimes not manageable.  And then add the spouse being out of town for a week and all the things he normally handles breaking.  I mean, not all the things, it was just a door handle, fence, washer, and some things with the car.

Needless to say, I was feeling a little overwhelmed.  Luckily, the good Lord knows exactly what I need when I need it.  He sent my sweet friend and neighbor over to just catch up.  I rambled on and on about everything under the sun, and I probably complained a little too much over items that are so minuscule in the big scheme of things. She listened patiently, asked questions, and she listened some more.  And then the catching up turned into something much more.  She asked to pray over me.  I really can’t even finish typing this without tears filling my eyes.  Because in the midst of chaos, stress, fear, and anxiety the one thing I haven’t done like I should have been, was praying.  Thankfully, she knew what was needed and she didn’t hesitate to pray over me.  Thank you sweet girl.

I guess that leads me to my thought for the day….whatever it is you’re worrying about, fearing, stressing over…remember to pray.  We have no control over what direction this IVF or adoption process will go, but He knows what will happen, He does have control, and He will provide.

“Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything.”  Philippians 4:6



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