Headed to the doctor this morning, just for a mock trail transfer where they insure there are no issues with the egg transfer next month, aka polyps, wrinkles in the uterus, blockage, etc. I explained this to my mom a couple of times but finally figured the best way to describe it to her is as a “practice run.” Just finishing up breakfast, taking my Ibuprofen for pain prevention, took a pregnancy test (which was required even though it is humanely impossible for that to happen). Unless God thinks I am the next Mary, which I doubt is the case…
It’s funny you know how impossible it is to get pregnant but the anxiety of taking a pregnancy test is almost overwhelming, it’s ridiculous. I kept waiting for it to say ‘Not Pregnant,’ but the thought in the back of my head of, “What if it shows up as Pregnant?” simply wouldn’t get out of my head. Obviously, it was ‘Not Pregnant’ haha… And then I laughed out loud, because well you have to laugh at yourself sometimes.
Today, I am not anxious about the pain of this mock trial. I’ve been there before and it really isn’t that bad. I think it is just laying there…naked…on a cold metal table..as vulnerable you possibly can be, doing a mock transfer to something that could change your life one way or another. There are only two outcomes, you’ll have some issues (blockage, wrinkles, polyps) or you’ll have a clean shot. Clearly, I want an issue-free, clean shot but if it is issue-free, it is that much more pressure for the actual transfer to go right and what if it doesn’t. Blah…..
It’s just a little saline solution… I just need to put my mind to rest for the day and keep it at that.
PS To those couple of kick ass friends that text me before the mock transfer.. 😘 I love you. You are amazing person and I do not know what I would do without you.