Small things.

So, our first shot is done! Yay..and Meh..all at the same time!  Obviously, we’re excited to start this process, but (meh) because we don’t really know what we’re doing, what we’re getting ourselves into and apart me really doesn’t love the fact that I’m pumping all sorts of drugs into my system.  So many drugs that I’m not even sure what some of them are and I end up just giving myself a shot or taking this pill and then googling what the side effects may be.  It’s weird, and it seems like we might be unprepared.  It’s not that at all, it’s just a lot to take in all at once.

We videoed the first shot last night, mainly for our own humor but I figured I’d share it here.  Let me preface that how our doctor appointments fell and when we needed to start these injections were kind of flip-flopped around.  We didn’t have a doctor prep appointment that clearly showed us how to take shots, but we were given about 45 pages of information to read and instructions to follow.  SO, this video is me stumbling through the directions and giving myself a shot.  Video to follow.

By the way, anyone even semi anxious about doing this and giving themself an injection, it was literally nothing.  It didn’t even feel like a bee sting, so shake off those nerves.  I grew up all sorts of animals: dogs, chickens, horses, cattle…so giving an animal a shot is not foreign to me.  The only plus side about giving it to yourself vs an animal, is you know it’s coming and you don’t have to listen to a sweet puppy cry after you give it. Ha.

Anyways, I’ve had a few side effects here and there, nothing too big.  A little ovary pain, a little bone pain (that was a surprising side effect, but your bones can be achy) and my leg definitely has been, and not the muscle achy, but the actual bone; it’s weird.  I’m getting a little concerned about continued weight gain and small, very very small and minor side effects like this.  It isn’t a big deal, because in the end you could be pumping yourself full of meds and gaining weight and having achy bones for an incredible bundle of joy.  Or you could end up heartbroken and overweight and lost.  Sorry, maybe that sounds dramatic, but that’s currently how I feel my outcomes are.

Obviously, I know this is the journey God has made me for.  I’ve had conversations with him over and over that I was not strong enough to have the last ectopic pregnancy, but turns out He was right again and I was strong enough.  I didn’t think I could bounce back, but I did, with Him.  So, I might not think I’m strong enough for another loss, but He continues to always be right and really He is the only one that knows.  Therefore, really is no use in me sitting here worrying over the small things…

Psh….harder said than done, but getting there.



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